Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Getting better all the time...

In the past almost - 3 months I've tried 4 different antidepressants. My mood stabilizer & anxiety meds have stayed the same. It got bad, and each change was worse. It seemed as the depression got better, the anxiety got worse. So I finally asked my doctor to let me go back on what I had been on for 8 years. He agreed & I have been getting better since. It's been 2 weeks now. I am feeling pretty good most of the time. My reactions are more appropriate. I am weaning down the anxiety med dosage. I don't sleep so great, but once I can fall asleep I could sleep all day. I keep trying to remember to take my medicine earlier, but it doesn't seem to matter. My body wants to sleep til noon. But, that was my "norm" before. It's just my body clock. My psychiatrist is retiring at the end of November. My GP was prescribing my meds as long as things were stable, so I am hoping he will do so again. I really don't want to look for a new psychiatrist.

I have cut most ties with my old church, without any flack. I must admit, a lot of my anxiety had been over this. I was too involved to just slip away, I had to tell people. I am still involved with the Friday night recovery program, but last week our speaker spoke about what we are holding onto after God has said, "we're moving on." I believe those meetings are what I am clinging to, and I need to let them go too. Many people there don't attend that church, but I am considered a leader there. I think one of the things that did me in there was my volunteering & having titles (and name badges). That all made it about me. I was in the loop. I wish I hadn't been, because now I know too much. I've attended a smaller church very close to home 3 times now, and I do like it. I'm not quite sure if it's where I'll stay, but I'm giving it a try.


No comments: