Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Crappy

So I saw my psychiatrist 2 weeks ago. It went great. I was in his office for an hour and a half. He put me on Seroquel & Cymbalta, & increased my Klonipin. I felt much better quickly. But after a week, I had to stop the Cymbalta because it was making me nauseated. Doc said just stop taking it & we'd figure out something else at my next appointment. So I've been on nothing during the day for a week now, and have a week to go before my next appointment. I feel horrible. I am sleeping well, and I am not having anxiety (the Seroquel & Klonipin take care of that), but I am in a foul mood. Just angry. I called today to request an earlier appointment, but the doc & nurse are out of the office today, so I will not hear back from her until tomorrow. I just want to run away. I want to peel off my flesh and just run from it. I feel very impulsive, but since I know it's the lack of meds, I have , so far, been able to keep it under control. I haven't snapped at anyone yet, at least not out loud. DH stayed home today because of back pain. When he stays home, he sleeps all day. That makes me feel like I'm not worth being awake for. He's probably just hiding from me, and who can blame him. G stays up very late, so he won't wake up for a few hours yet. So in a house full of my family, I am alone. And I don't want to be around me either.


2 comments:

Arianna said...

Aw, Sweetie, don't ever think that you aren't waking up for. Medications! You are a dynamic, beautiful, loving person. You remember that. We are all entitled to our ups and downs. Just so happens your down is just way better than a lot of other folks' downs. Can we feel alone together? I am feeling it, too.

Penny said...

I love you! I am beginning to feel better, but that loneliness can still sneak in. I so wish gas weren't so expensive. And I know J doesn't have a free moment right now. Visiting with you is a balm to my soul.